Trust & Relationship by Penelope Walters Swenson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

This paper is the basis of a talk I gave at the hooding ceremony for graduates of the CSUB Educational Administration Program, Hanford Cohort on August 18, 2012.  The group is outstanding in their scholarship and ability, but, most of all, they are striving to be outstanding people, honorable people. 

TRUST  and  RELATIONSHIPS--"round 2"

What do we want most in life?

Money?  Successful  careers?  Solid, caring families?

The first one is tangentially related to the topic of trust and relationships as so many financial empires are brought down due to a lack of trust and honest, honorable relationships, yet the career path you have chosen is not one of great bankrolls or wealth.

You have selected to serve.  You have chosen a path where many of the rewards are not in that pay envelope—the smiles, the achievements of others, the myriads of good citizens you have helped to shape.  This is richness beyond the paycheck, based on trust and relationships. 

Megan Tschannen-Moran wrote an intriguing, research-based book—TRUST MATTERS: Leadership for Successful Schools.  She begins her book with a simple statement, “Without trust, it is unlikely that schools can be successful in their efforts to improve.”  

Her research findings support this bold statement.  

She dissects trust into five facets—

benevolence, 

honesty, 

openness, 

reliability, and 

competence.  

Without any one of these, the school leader cannot build the continuously improving school.

Let me tell a cautionary tale about a very able young man.  He was bright, articulate, hardworking, even good looking.  He held multiple subject and single subject credentials and was completing an administrative credential. He was easy to like and always offering to assist.  He could coach and teach in a variety of areas.  As he moved into a teacher on special assignment position, changes started to occur.  He was friendly to the site administrator, while undermining him at every turn with the district administration.  Later he was at another site doing the same thing—friendly yet undermining.  When he became a principal, the faculty knew his mode of operation and they just did not trust him.

He used relationships to get what he wanted, professional power and prestige.  He wanted it more than building trust and relationships at home and in the workplace.  

He set the pattern of 2-3 years here, 2-3 years there, never needing to show success.  Behind him he left shattered trusts, broken relationships.  He divorced and had little contact with his children.  

He sacrificed the really important things—trust and relationships that last and build—for temporary “successes.”  He once said winning was his high and all he wanted to do was win.  

What do we value?  What do we want most in life? How will we measure our successes?

Clayton Christensen, best known for his work on disruptive innovation, talks with his Harvard students about values and ethics extensively.  Recently he, with two former students, wrote a book How Will You Measure Your Life?  One of his insights is that measuring should start early!  

He suggests that understanding the parts that compose the purpose of one’s life “a likeness, a commitment, and a metric—is the most reliable way . . . to define for yourself what your purpose is, and to live it in your life every day.”  Christensen shared one from his 3 personal likeness of self—“a man who is dedicated to helping improve the lives of other people.” 

Commitment is a guide for daily moving toward that person you want to be.  What is your center—a commitment to a higher power, a philosophy, an ideal?

Metric is the means we use to measure how we are doing. Not surprising for a professor to suggest we do need to measure.  Will it using both formative and summative? (Well, maybe the summative will be the measure applied by others as they look upon our obits.)  Christensen suggests we all too often focus on one situation and do not assess ourselves in the aggregate.  Overall, reflect, not in terms of numbers of people we lead or the cash in our assets, but relative to our chosen likeness. 

Christensen goes back to his likeness of self to develop his metric and asks himself questions. Have I strengthened others; have I helped assuage discomfort of others; have I been a doer of good?

We can ask: How have I used my gifts and talents?  Am I on the road to being the likeness of self, the person I want to be?

Sometimes we think there is a huge gap between our home self and our public/professional self.  Actually trust and relationship is crucial in both places.  (Remember the Johari Window?)

Christensen did not divide professional likenesses, commitments, and metrics from those at home with family.  Christensen reminds us of the old standard Christmas season movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”?  Don’t we all want to feel like George Bailey did at the end?

You may also remember the story I shared in class about Don Penland—the best school leader I have ever known.  (http://www.acsa.org/FunctionalMenuCategories/Media/LeadershipMagazine/2009-archives/SeptemberOctober-2009/Best.aspx)

Don exemplified what he wanted to be (his likeness)  in all that he did—as a professional, as a community member, as a parent, as a husband, and as a friend.  Over 20 years as an assistant principal might be seen as a career failure by some, yet Don accomplished was a stellar success in all the areas of his life. 

He built TRUST and RELATIONSHIPS in all facets of his life.

Would that we each search ourselves; establish our likenesses, our commitments, our metrics—and go forward as builders in our profession, in our community, and in our homes.

References:

Christensen, Clayton M., Dillon, Karen & Allworth, James.  (2012). How Will You Measure Your Life?. New York: HarperBusiness.

Tschannen-Moran, M. (2004). Trust Matters: Leadership for Successful Schools. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.